The gift of getting to age
Plus, The Antidote #32: the U.S. tries to erase long COVID, trans, and Black and brown folks. I don't know how else to classify this. On a more positive note: belated Black History Month goodness!
The Tonic is a lighthearted, heavily resourced newsletter for folks interested in learning about long COVID, ME/CFS, and other health conditions. Come for the info; stay for the whimsy. Or vice versa.
If you are new here and curious about the tools that have been helping me in my long COVID recovery, please check out the Recovery Tools series tab on my Substack site. (Please start with part one, as it includes an important disclaimer about how highly individualized recovery tools can be with a heterogenous illness like long COVID).
The Tonic is free to read - Amy is so happy you’re here! There is no paid subscription option here like with other Substack newsletters. However, if you are valuing the experience and are able, please consider a show of support by sending a gift of health, wellness, or joy from this Amazon wish list or this Throne wish list (for those who are loath to support Amazon). There’s something for every budget and any help is appreciated. Anyone who does gets a 📢 in an upcoming post (be sure to include a note with your gift). Thank you!
Quick me-update
The last post here - our first Tonic guest post - announced a fabulous new spoonie-friendly cookbook by
. Has anyone made that delicious cauliflower soup yet?? Do report back!You may recall that I needed a break from publishing my own post due to a weeklong Herspoonean effort. It was actually an intensive practice week for a course I’m taking (not quite ready to release the details on it, but stay tuned!). It involved 4-6 hours a day of computer/Zoom time, which is 2-4 hours longer than I have been able to handle, given my fatigue and other symptoms.
I’m happy to say I survived! I took extra good care of myself that week - slept in the guest room for uninterrupted sleep, went to bed early each night, ate well and frequently throughout each day, rested and went off camera when I needed to, managed to maintain my 20 minutes of meditation each day. I did no cooking or cleaning all week, save for scooping the litter boxes. All in all, while I did have pretty significant fatigue and neuropathy the first few days, it all seemed to be contained to the same day - no cognitive PEM (post exertional malaise), which was a nice surprise. I even set aside a few days after the intensive to “recover” should I have needed it, but I found I was really fine.
A few things the week taught me: although I survived and emerged at baseline, the symptom increases each day told me I’m not ready to work yet. I’m not sure I could find a job that allowed me to work two hours at a time and take long breaks in between stretches of work. And I don’t know how my body would have reacted in the long run if I kept up 4-6 hours a day of screen time beyond one week. I was actually grateful to have the chance to test my limits here a bit, because what I learned about those limits didn’t disappoint me; I just viewed it as helpful information, a status update on my own condition which I may not have gotten any other way.
The other important thing was that although I didn’t really need the recovery time I had set aside in the days after the intensive, I still did the smart thing and took advantage of savoring a light schedule for a few days. I took it easy. And that makes me feel like I’m learning the lessons that this illness/recovery experience is trying to teach me about changing how I care for my flesh suit on an ongoing basis.
Lastly, I got a real emotional boost from not only making it through the week, but thriving! I learned at the end of the week that I had demonstrated sufficient skill in my practice to advance to the next level of the course - yay! I was riding high that whole weekend after and I still am. I have so much hope for my future and that’ll sustain me through the next months of recovery (and continued learning - there’s one more year left to this program I’m in).
Now onto our main topic this week:
The gift of getting to age
Where to begin with this…so much to say, as usual.
I guess I’ll start here: Your girl is turning 50 this year, y’all. FIFTY. FIFTY.
I do, actually…so lush, so full, so many…intact follicles (sigh):
Milestone birthdays are interesting, I think. An arbitrary, round number, but somehow we’ve been conditioned to pause on these birthdays in particular to take stock of life and perhaps celebrate.
When I turned 18, I was a week away from high school graduation, and I was nine months out from having lost my dad unexpectedly. A time that should have been full of promise was tainted by not having my favorite guy there for any of it (though I still managed to feel somewhat hopeful, in part because I dissociated from his death and my grief for about a full year. It was wild).
I turned 21 during the best summer of my life, invited by my college bestie to live and work with her in Lake Tahoe. It was my first proper adventure, and it was exciting and fun. (I was a change person at the local casino for the summer, while my bestie was slinging drinks out by the pool).
By 30, I had been married to my Baldy for two years and living in NYC. I had lost my mom to cancer several years before at age 24, two years before I met Baldy. And although my late 20’s and early 30’s were marked by significant infertility struggles for us, we still celebrated what life had given us by way of good friends and family at a bar in NYC’s East Village.
For my 40th, I invited a bunch of friends and family to join me in my happy place - Sedona, Arizona. Another adventure, surrounded by some of the best people I know. We hiked, swam, ate, drank, laughed around the fire pit at night. I felt ALIVE and it was amazing.
Four years later, Baldy and I moved into our dream home (well, mine - if he had his way, we’d live a mile away from any neighbors, lol). Seven months later in March 2020, I was exposed to COVID, the day before everything locked down. A few months after that, I turned 45 and my birthday weekend was when long COVID fully and properly showed up and set up camp…for the next five years.
Which brings us to now. Fifty is certainly hitting differently than any of the other milestone birthdays I’ve had - the “take stock” part especially. Up until 40 (really until 44), I was riding the waves of life, working (very) hard, exercising a lot, eating right, and having a good bit of fun on the regular. I don’t know how often I stopped to realize how lucky I was to have had such a run of (mostly) good fortune.
And then long COVID happened, and my world started closing in on me. I tried to keep working for the first two years, taking leaves here and there and dropping to part-time, but it was unsustainable. I was too sick to socialize, and too fatigued to do much other than languish on the couch or in bed. Friends and family sent gifts and get well wishes. Some visited when I could handle that, and when the weather permitted us to sit on my deck. But I eventually had to give up my job/career and most of my hobbies and pastimes, which largely involved being physically active. I lost one friend who ghosted me after my cognitively dysfunctional brain forgot that her husband had cancer (I think she didn’t believe that I could have forgotten such a thing, but I did). I lost other friends and acquaintances who just kind of drifted away (and I let them; sometimes the stock you take in life is realizing when tight friendships were never meant to form).
As my life narrowed, somewhat ironically, I began to slowly recover. I say ironically because I grieved all of the losses I sustained during long COVID - of my livelihood, my hobbies, my extroversion, and some people - so it was interesting that apparently part of what needed to happen for me to heal was for a few layers of life’s onion to peel away.
I also began appreciating the very small things in life with a clarity I never had before - bumble bees circling a plant in my yard, miniature pinecones on the fir tree in my driveway, the foraging and gathering habits of the little chipmunks on the rock wall behind our house. What it means to really listen to a song, not as a distraction while you’re driving, cleaning, or working out, but while being perfectly still.
The taking stock that has occurred during these five long years wasn’t just about my immediate surroundings and behavior either. I began to really examine the frenetic pace of my life in the “before times,” how I rarely had a moment to just be or to sit and breathe. I hardly ever took the time back then to take stock. In these ways, the illness has been a gift to me. Although I was mentally and emotionally crushed by having to give up a 25-year career that I was convinced I loved, slowly I began to see how that career distracted me from the signs that my body was in trouble (I tried to medicate and ignore-away eight years of chronic, near daily migraines).
I gradually came to accept that I could never return to a career like the one I had, and this was a gift in its own way too, because it gave me the time and strength I needed to push through the arduous application and appeal processes for both private and public disability benefits.
It also gave me something greater: the power to consider a different future. A power I never felt I had before, because my career was paying me well, and that is its own kind of trap. So many of us stay in unfulfilling or difficult jobs for far too long because we think we won’t be able to meet our financial needs otherwise. We don’t dare to dream because it seems impractical.
Turning back to the body, the taking stock also happened with regards to physical aging. Many long haulers will tell you that long COVID has aged the joints and skin all over their body by a decade or more. I certainly felt that to be true within the first 2-3 years. My body hurt in ways I only associated with older age. My skin got rashy and crepey in ways that it wasn’t before and that happened too fast and too soon for someone in their late 40’s (the skin on my arms resembled that of my aunt when she was in her 80’s and 90’s).
My eyes looked…I don’t know, just kind of dead. I remember thinking, “well, I guess this is how I’ll look from now on.”
Some of these things have gotten better with time, which tells me that whatever inflammatory process was going on has quieted down a lot. But I’ve begun noticing other signs of aging, those that would be happening anyway to a woman in her late 40s.
On my face, the signs of aging are mostly around my eyes: my eyelids are often “hooded” now, especially for a few hours after I wake up, and my under-eye area is super wrinkly, especially when I smile or laugh. My forehead, cheeks, and the area around my mouth are starting to wrinkle too, but those areas are not quite as noticeable yet, perhaps due to how pale my skin is. I have noticed how crepey the skin on my neck is getting (this often takes me by surprise, especially after I take a selfie). I’m also noticing that the area around my chin and jaw is getting…I don’t know…jowly? And a straight line from my neck to my chin is starting to form, à la my pops in this picture:
Elsewhere on my corpus, many other things are changing. Some have changed as a result of five years of little-low activity. Others I’m sure would have happened anyway. I’ll spare you details here.
According to the latest science, we age in two “bursts” - one around age 44 and another around age 60. So I guess this all tracks for me. I’m losing estrogen and collagen like all women around my age do eventually. According to my latest bloodwork and my gynecologist’s hunch, I’m post-menopausal, so this all makes a lot of sense, biologically speaking.
And yet.
What has marked my taking notice of all of these changes has been a general sense of disgust. Whatever it is that’s changing, it’s different from how I have looked for many years and that is somehow unacceptable.
Says who? Well, the feeling of disgust is admittedly generated by my own brain, but it’s a brain that has been effectively hijacked by messages flying through my eyeballs and earholes since I was probably five years old. Let’s round up and call that 45 years. FORTY-FIVE YEARS that I have been taught (conditioned, socialized, brainwashed) into thinking that beauty, for a woman, is the most important thing in life, and that these wrinkles, crepes, sags, and jowls are unwanted changes, that they are somehow unnatural and therefore, inherently bad.
These changes cannot be controlled or stopped (for the most part, unless you’re loaded and not afraid of peels/injections/scalpels), despite one’s use of the very best creams and serums which promise heaven and earth. And if you can’t control or stop them, they must be thoroughly and openly loathed. If you are noticing all of the ways you are aging and talking about them constantly to anyone who will listen, these people will at least know that you’re aware, that you’re paying attention, that you haven’t merely “let yourself go” (somehow the worst thing anyone can do to themselves).
In other words, beat other people to the uber-judgmental punch. Self-hatred gives you the upper hand to others hating on you. It tells people, “back off, I’m the bully who got here first.” It gives you back some semblance of control when control over what’s happening to your body is precisely what you don’t have.
What better way to practice for this public self-loathing than to start doing it in the privacy of our own homes? We do it when we’re naked, have no make-up on, catch an awkward angle of ourselves in a mirror as we pass. The ugly thoughts are often accompanied by touch and sound as well; we grab the area that’s changing, try to somehow lift it or smooth it out, and simultaneously make guttural sounds that are so deep, so indicative of utter disgust, there’s not even a phonetic way for me to type them for you here. Maybe you can “hear” this pic:
We do this home-disgust routine so often and so effectively, that when we get around others, the public self-loathing just comes pouring out of our mouths, unobstructed by rational or kind thoughts.
And when we’re not spending time being the first to slander our own looks, when we’re having lunch or going for a walk with a friend and talking about the million other things in life that are more important or interesting than how we look, we sometimes get caught off-guard by…wait for it……a (gasp!) compliment about how we look. Many of us have always sucked at accepting a compliment, but in the land of aging? You have to wave off any such thing and immediately begin talking about a most obvious physical flaw or change, bringing you right back to vicious cycle of open self-loathing.
But I call bullshit
I submit to you that we DO have the power to stop this cruel and unnecessary cycle.
If you’ve been following me for a while, you know that I frequently post or include resources about brain retraining or neuroplasticity when it comes to long COVID or ME/CFS symptoms. The premise is that our brains tend to believe what we tell them, and studies have shown that they are wired for negative messages more than positive ones. If we tell ourselves our illness is incurable, despite the fact that thousands of people have been able to recover, our brain tends to believe us, and those thoughts get reinforced. We lose hope and we don’t tend to the things that could help us feel better. As the saying goes, “neurons that fire together, wire together.” Think of negative thoughts like grooves or tracks in your brain; the more we think them, the more reinforced they become, the “stickier” these thoughts get and the harder it is to embrace change. The brain stays on high alert for negativity, danger, etc., and reinforces this further by turning on (and keeping on) various symptoms in the body.
But, if we can practice interrupting negative thoughts and replacing them with neutral or positive ones, we can change the way our brain responds. (I am not pulling this stuff out of my bum; see doctors/researchers like John Sarno, Howard Schubiner, or Alan Gordon, and practitioners like Dan Buglio and Nicole Sachs, as well as the myriad of long COVID and ME/CFS brain retraining and nervous system reset programs that abound).
If we can change the ways our brains respond to the symptoms associated with chronic fatiguing illnesses, why can’t we change our brains around the negative messages we’ve received for decades around aging and the attendant self-loathing??
What would happen if we stopped hating ourselves for something that, if we are lucky, is inevitable? For something that isn’t objectively bad? And what if we replaced the thoughts, the touch, and the sounds of disgust with more compassionate, gentler responses? We can remind ourselves that this beautiful, miraculous body of ours has gotten us through (fill in the blank - it’s gotten us all through something). We can appreciate the ways it has served us, even if there are some or many ways it hasn’t.
If that’s a bridge too far at first, how about responding with a shrug or a smile? Or with shifting our focus to things we like about ourselves, things that carry meaning, like our eye color or shape that reminds us of our favorite aunt, the shape of our hands which we inherited from mom, the curve of our hips which helped us birth children or become a better dancer? Or maybe something non-physical, like our killer sense of humor or ability to crush the daily crossword (housed in our brains, so arguably also ‘physical’)?
These mental shifts are important to work on now, because the gift of getting to age actually means that sadly for many, aging is NOT inevitable.
My parents didn’t get the gift of aging beyond 57 and 60. The millions who needlessly died from COVID had the gift ripped from them way too soon.
If you’re reading this, and you are not currently suffering from a terminal illness, somehow you have been lucky to have the gift of a changing body. Will we spend the time we have left - which will hopefully be years and years, but could easily be hours, days, weeks, or months - picking out every wrinkle, every discoloration, everything that sags? Or will we spend it noticing and talking about things that are frankly way more fucking compelling??
When negative thoughts about your aging face or body creep in, we can try stopping and asking our brains, “what would we want to happen instead?” Because the alternative to aging, for the vast majority of us without boatloads of money, is dying. Would we really rather be dead than have to look at our jowls in the mirror?
I have decided enough is motherfucking enough. I have an energy limiting condition, and I am TIRED from the energy it takes to hate my aging face and body. It is wasted energy, plain and simple.
From now on, I will actively work to interrupt these thoughts when I have them. I will reflect on how sick I was, how there were days in early long COVID when the symptoms were so bad, so bizarre, that I actually thought I was dying. I thought on several occasions that I would not make it through the night. But I did, over and over again, and although I still have symptoms, there is joy and meaning in life. And that means, the gift of getting to age is mine for at least a bit longer. And I am thankful for that.
You know, as I have been reflecting on this topic and on wanting to change, I’ve also thought about the fact that I have gotten some compliments on my looks in the last few years, especially this year when I’ve told folks I’m turning 50. They’ve commented about how great my skin looks or about the age they thought I was (the “winner” is our newish 20-something cat sitter, who when I reached out to see if she was available to cat sit over the weekend of my 50th, said she legit thought I was in my mid-30s).
The aforementioned 45 years of brainwashing caused me to be immediately flattered by such compliments, to somehow feel proud that I was beating the proverbial clock on my face. As Baldy often says, pride is a feeling that should be reserved for accomplishments, and I tend to agree. So how can I feel pride in what the skin cells on my face are doing or not doing? I protect myself from the sun most days. I wash, I exfoliate, I moisturize. I have gotten decent at applying make-up that looks “natural,” that looks like the real me, but with a glow. Beyond that, there is no skill here. There is no achievement worthy of pride. I have had little to no control over what my face is doing as time marches on.
And so it feels funny to wholeheartedly thank people for these types of compliments. If I am deciding not to put a huge value on how anyone ages, it feels disingenuous to express appreciation about these very specific comments. Others, like “you look great!” or “you look so pretty!” or “you look like the old you!” (meaning, the non-sick version of me) hit different, and although they still place a value on appearance, they are not specifically about the universally dreaded topic of aging. And that is where I intend to start for now.
Bringing this in for a landing
You’ve hopefully picked up what I’m putting down here. Aging happens to all of us, if we are lucky to get the gift. It’s not a character flaw. It should in fact be celebrated.
But one thing at a time. Let’s first practice undoing our self-hatred (and judgment of the way others are aging, while we’re at it). Who’s with me?
Time for a musical interlude. Enjoy my two favorite songs about what aging is really about: Brandi Carlile’s The Story (“all of these lines across my face, tell you the story of who I am…so many stories of where I’ve been, and how I got to where I am…”) and You’re Aging Well by Dar Williams.
Now for some links.
The Antidote #32
COVID, Long COVID, and ME/CFS
❓ What is Long COVID? A beginner’s guide by
. Also, How to Help Someone with Long COVID by .💉 COVID-19 post vaccine syndrome: big news from Akiko Iwasaki and her colleagues with the Yale LISTEN study, as a pre-print of their study comparing the blood of those with post vaccine syndrome to both those with Long COVID and healthy controls was published. Like most studies, it presents certain limitations, such as its small sample size and inability to know if symptoms were triggered by the vaccine or by a previous COVID infection. Here is a good analysis of the study by
. For all of its faults, I for one commend LISTEN for agreeing to include vax-injured folks as part of their larger Long COVID studies, as I don’t believe any other researchers are doing so, and while the study presents an n = 42, there are THOUSANDS of vax-injured long haulers in the Long COVID groups online. (Full disclosure: I am a study participant in the larger LISTEN study. My mother-in-law is also a C-19 vax-injured long hauler and suffers from crippling fatigue; she has never had COVID, and her exposures are limited so we don’t believe she’s had asymptomatic infection either).🗞️ Long COVID Weekly Newsletter: in case you missed it, here and here were two good LC study roundups (their roundups are always good; give them a subscribe if you don’t already).
💥 U.S. implosion: I don’t know what else to call it. President Space Nazi and Vice President Orange Felon are causing all sorts of problems that will have ripple effects for years to come. A few things to check out: Long COVID, ME/CFS and the Trump Administration: Where We Stand Now, The COVID 'Contrarians' Are in Power. We Haven't Hashed Out Whether They Were Right, and Trump cuts long COVID, health equity committees in new EO. And, in case you didn’t know, the words ‘Long COVID’ were scrubbed from every government web page.
🫰🏽 Social Security: and then there’s this. So many Americans died from Covid, it's boosting Social Security to the tune of $205 billion. If you are currently running the U.S. government, this probably feels like welcome news. The herd was culled. Eugenics is alive and well.
🦠 How COVID-19 Changed American Life: Looking Back 5 Years Later. Check out the graphs and charts in this one if you want a look at just how far apart we are, despite the science.
🗣️ Long COVID is a political issue: here’s
with a well-researched and compelling piece.📛 Long COVID severity: a study in The Lancet looks at differences in severity. Notable findings: “Among participants followed up to 3 years after initial infection, those with current Long COVID had worse physical and mental health outcomes. The majority of those with Long COVID did not resolve, with less than 2% having resolved Long COVID.” (Reminder: I am five years out and although not 100% recovered, I am substantially better. Don’t lose hope!).
🛣️ Is there a path to recovery?
with a thoughtful examination.🦋 Thyroid function and COVID: a systematic review that also includes Long COVID. I don’t know about any of you, but I had Hashimoto’s going into LC and my thyroid levels are still jumping all over the map. My endocrinologist is the hardest working doc I have and has been for the past two years.
📕 Resource guide: the Infection-Associated Chronic Conditions Initiative, a project of the Long COVID Alliance, offers this resource guide created by patients, caregivers, and leaders within the IACC.
🧑🏼🤝🧑🏽Navigating friendships: during the “pandemic of abandonment” by The Sick Times. And speaking of our friends there, check out this piece: Inside the growth of disability-led news projects. We are so fortunate to have such an excellent news outlet specific to our illness and experiences.
🥳 Superspreader celebration: when are people gonna learn?? Steve Martin blames ‘SNL 50th COVID curse’ after Martin Short and Maya Rudolph test positive.
🏪 Long COVID store: my dear one
, who writes and hosts A Friend for the Long Haul podcast, has an online store with clever wares. Check her out!❤️🩹 What’s important in life:
of with a great piece on Our Health and Energy are the most precious resources, not money.Webinars/conferences/podcasts/videos
🕊️ COVID memorial: Marked by COVID is hosting their annual online vigil to honor and remember the lives lost and affected by COVID. It’s on Monday, March 3rd at 8pm EST. Register here.
👨🏼💻 RECOVER seminar: Sex Differences in Long COVID, to be held on March 11th at 12pm EST. Register here.
👩🏽💻 “Five years later” webinar: Join the COVID-19 Longhauler Advocacy Project during Long COVID Awareness week as they hold a conversation with Dr. Michael Osterholm on The Ongoing COVID & Long COVID Crisis, & the Future of Public Health. March 12th at 3pm EST. Register here.
🚸 Helping children with Long COVID:
interviews Dr. Melanie Hoppers on her podcast. Check it out here.🪮 World Afro Day panel: Wash Day & Chronic Illness, a recording of a panel presentation by the Global Healthy Living Foundation.
📖 Recovery stories: Dan Buglio with some tips on the stories we tell ourselves and others.
🧘🏾 How to Be Present: A Simple Mindfulness Practice with Alex Howard.
🏳️⚧️ Trans lives:
, a trans educator and author, brings the receipts on the realities of trans lives in this Note. Give him a listen.Health miscellany
🫁 Asthma: how it affects people of color.
🥵 Magnesium and menopause: a great post by
.🧑🏾🦽 Airlines breaking wheelchairs: they’re suing to avoid consequences for screwing over mobility-impaired travelers. How depraved.
🤒 Do You Need a Measles Booster? What Experts Recommend.
♋ Breast cancer: it’s on the rise globally and survival rates vary by the wealth of your nation.
🧪 HIV vaccines: South African scientists were testing a promising HIV vaccine. Then came Trump’s aid cuts. It’s starting to feel like they actually want us to die.
🐟 Seafood recalls: Tri-Union Seafoods Issues Recall of Select Genova®, Van Camp’s®, H-E-B and Trader Joe’s® Tuna Cans Due to Clostridium Botulinum Risk.
🤳🏾 Fitness trackers: they may be hurting more than helping.
⚕️ Medical bills: how to negotiate them. Also, check out this post and this post by
on how to do so (and more). She inspired me to call about one of my own bills and now I’m filling out a request for financial assistance. Thanks, Kira!💉 Shingles vaccine: if you’re in earshot of menopause, get it. A great post by
.🩸 Speaking of menopause: these emerging therapies could change women’s health.
💊 Metformin, wonder drug?:
with a deep dive. I was telling the good doc that my endocrinologist put me on it for LC-induced pre-diabetes, and she’s insisting I stay on it for at least another year because she’s convinced it’s doing some “behind the scenes” work on inflammation, possibly contributing to my recent overall improvements. (Note: there are no studies about this for long COVID at the moment, based on searches done by both me and Dr. McCormick).🍦 Yogurt and colon cancer: can it lower the incidence?
😣 Chronic pain:
with a piece on Leaning Into a Slower Pace of Life as a way to relieve pain.👃🏽 Booger and mucus color: when to seek medical attention (sorry if you’re eating).
🔬 Research amid disaster: meet the Gaza scientists keeping research alive.
👻 Boobs: are they overrated? One doc-turned-cancer-patient’s opinion (requires free MedPage Today account. Also, there’s no boob emoji, and ‘boo’ was the closest I could come).
Now stick around for…
🥳 The After-party 🥳
Added resources, joy, tomfoolery, and buffoonery
👩🏾🦱 Black History Month: I missed it by a day, but since Black history is American history, it’s really all year round. Check out these three posts: I WOULD BE BLACK IN EVERY LIFETIME, How Everything is About Race, Pt 3, and From the Archive: "Strange Fruit" - Billie Holiday.
❤️🔥 Also, yesterday was my dear friend’s DAY.
was recently given an award by the National Council for Negro Women for her work as anti-racist educator and activist in our county and beyond. Happy Reverend Kym McNair Day!
💘 Dating with a chronic illness: a sick girl’s guide.
🚵🏽♂️ Stop trying to improve yourself! A post by
that was like a breath of fresh air.🏳️⚧️ High-level buffoonery, trans edition: Iowa lawmakers pass bill stripping trans civil rights protections.
⚧️ Higher-level defiance, trans edition: Check out this beauty from
, Are we what happens when the cishet world dreams? And, an important perspective: Trump singled me out for ruining women’s sport. This is my response to him. And, fuck yeah: New York doctor says he'll continue providing transition care despite Trump executive order.🎭 Here’s a funny about a not-at-all funny:
📲 Tech stuff: Turn off your read receipts. They’re a security risk. And The Guy Who Invented Those Annoying Password Rules Now Regrets Wasting Your Time.
🤦🏻 Buffoon of the week: this week’s honors go to my very own MAGA congressman, Mike Lawler, who recently questioned the citizenship status of longtime, revered Latino county legislator and vice chair of the board of legislators, Jose Alvarado. Mine is a swing district, and during his first term, Lawler tried straddling the line between red and blue by sticking to mostly honoring veterans (seriously, he did little else). But now he’s going full on Trump with outrageous comments that he then tries to lamely walk back. Alvarado pushed back using reason and logic, a foreign concept to MAGAts.
🏆 Winners of the week: proud aunty alert! Our winners this week are closer to home - my very own nephew, Southampton Police Officer Joseph Cappabianca, his fellow officers, and a private citizen, who all received citations this week for their role in responding to the scene of a brutal murder. You can check out the story here. Congratulations to all involved in apprehending the suspect!
🐈⬛ 💩 And finally, it’s this week’s Cat Dump.
First up, why does my cat guard me when I go to the bathroom?
Second, hero or villain? You decide: this doctor faces inquiry after giving his cat a Cat scan at Italian hospital.
Third, a newish CatStack!
is written by Katia Colitti, an animal welfare scientist. She also writes , which is devoted to the grief we feel when we lose our feline companion. Check them both out and subscribe!Lastly, bonding calicos! It’s a new development around here. Usually the tiny, old curmudgeon Zira yowls whenever the young whippersnapper Birdie comes near.
With years on this planet, hurts, and losses - in our own body or of loved ones - also comes this knowledge of what’s right for you and only you, what doesn’t matter anymore, and what does. So much of what you say resonates with me. Happy birthday!
You're amazing, Amy. Thanks for the link! I'll just throw out for the Very Tired...I don't do ANY of the suggested steps in the "negotiate your medical bills" article...I just call! And I have a pretty good success rate with getting discounts or forgiveness. :)