I’m not a journalist, so I’m admittedly not heavily sourced. But most any neuro-linguistic programming experts cite these traits as something to be mindful of. I’ve also read about these in Alex Howard’s book Decode Your Fatigue. He has treated thousands at his clinic in the UK.
Curious your thoughts on all this? Maybe it’s not resonating, which is cool too.
Yeah I’ve read it in Alex Howard too. I’ve never seen a good study on it though. I get that working on energy depleting tendencies can be helpful with this illness. And I do try to guard against my own perfectionist tendencies. But I’m wary of the implication that people with chronic illnesses made themselves sick or keep themselves sick. Howard is explicit that he thinks people with ME/CFS keep themselves sick, which is very problematic.
I hear you. It’s an interesting dialogue, the intersections of innate health/illness and the ways in which behaviors affect health outcomes. I personally don’t fall squarely on either side. But epigenetics can’t be ignored, in my opinion. What makes us susceptible to certain illnesses? What behavior or environmental factors turn on certain genes?
The reason I put some amount of stock in the personality types contributing to illness or to difficulty recovering is that it has rung very true for me. When I first got COVID, I had the hardest two weeks of work of my entire career. I only took one sick day. I definitely think the stage was set in my case for me to become sicker with long COVID than I was with acute COVID. I don’t say that to blame myself; there’s no way I could have known that my usual previously harmless patterns would all of a sudden get me in life-altering hot water. But in hindsight, I know in my gut that these patterns contributed to this. Rather than blame myself, I use it to be aware moving forward. I’ll never have that kind of high stress job again, for starters.
Again Amy, a wonderful Tonic about so many things im familiar with.
After reading this, i felt a bit sad about myself and my thoughts about taking care of me.
I was quite sure that i learned in the last years about my level of energy and about the point when doing to much.
BUT after study your weekly plan of self care i totally failed about so many good things helping me to recover or paying attention to me and my body.
Thanks again for giving so much interesting hints about your daily problems. It´s a pleasure to read the Tonic´s, even when im a year behind but i catch up. :)))
Excuse my bad English :D
P.S. if you ever read that comment, is it worth to try the Gupta programm?
Hi Carsten! So happy to have you here as a reader. It is never my intention to make anyone feel bad or like they’re not doing “enough” to try to recover. I am truly sorry that I contributed to your feeling that way! I always like to think that someone else may have ideas I haven’t tried yet. Like a new opportunity! I hope you give yourself plenty of self-compassion along the way. These illnesses are not easy to live with or recover from.
I liked the Gupta Program because it was in depth and the videos were beautiful to watch. I learned a lot. That said, it takes a lot of effort to be consistent with the practice. The longest I was ever able to do this for was two months. Still, I use many of the tools I learned there and so even though I didn’t fully recover from it, I still considered it a success.
I also liked Alex Howard’s RESET Program. A bit simpler than Gupta and so it may be more accessible to people.
Best wishes! I look forward to seeing you in the comments on any of my posts ☺️
Ooo yes! I think my sister will like this one. But in the meantime I really enjoyed it and connected to a lot of what you said (people pleaser!). Thank you for sharing 💕
Thanks Sheila! I figured she’d like this one, since nurses go through so much schooling and are often high achievers. So grateful that you asked me to send you something she might like 😊
I sent it to her and she said from the title she’s interested. She’s been listening to podcasts about how certain personality types are more likely to get long covid! So it seems fitting as to where she’s found herself!
I’m glad you did too, it’s made me realise more about who my sister is and connect with her better thank you 💕
I am not glad I went through Long covid, there have been no benefits at all!
Except the one part where I have been able to let go of the patriarchal focus on achievements and accomplishment to define self worth. Because you have to go through that to feel OK about yourself lying on the couch for a year! The bitterness of reproaching myself for not being able to do the work was huge and almost constant for the whole time. And didn’t help me heal and get better either, I think a huge chunk of what brain power I actually had was taken up in destructive thoughts about how crap I was to be not working.
So it helped me to think about people I loved, and how valuable I thought they were. I never think about my sister or husband or anyone in terms of ‘I love them because they reached such a high managerial position’ or ‘I think they are loveable because they won this or that award’. But we seem to think we can only love ourselves for that sort of thing?
I love them because they are kind, or funny, or optimistic. And I think outer success happens when these character traits find a correct channel in the world to be expressed in. Which can be just dumb luck to find yourself in the right place, with the right traits and have the right amount of health, too! A job where your kindness can help your clients a lot. Where your quick wit finds and solves problems easily, as well as finding puns - or your optimism keeps a start up going through rocky times.
But even without these traits finding the right worldly channel to create success (or these channels are being blocked by health), we are still chock-a-block full of kindness or wit or optimism, and deeply valuable and loveable for that.
And what you are doing here, Amy, is so valuable. I have picked up several very helpful tips from you as I recover. Multiply that by all the other readers now, and all the readers you will have in the future, and your own kindness and wit and optimism is doing it’s work in the world.
And it’s interesting about the de-coupling of effort and effect too. The same amount of work as you may have put into a 1-1 client before can now go out and help tens, hundreds or thousands of people with your writing.
Helen, I loved what you said about how you don't think about your loved ones in terms of their professional titles or accomplishments, so why do we think that of ourselves. That is such a good point. You are right: we are so loveable for our kindness, wit, optimism. These should all be a big part of our new identities.
Thank you, Helen, for consistently reading and for letting me know you're finding value in what I'm doing here. Sometimes I am exhausted by it, but I am never not inspired. And because I'm not getting paid, I won't have to feel at all guilty when I need to pull back and put myself first! Lol.
It's often a challenge to recognise when our need for accomplishment and external validation overshadows our own well-being. Your story about your life's journey, your overachieving tendencies, and your struggles with chronic illness is incredibly relatable to many. Thank you for being so open and sharing your experiences.
Oooh, I love your kitties! I think they know when Saul is coming up and show him their way of relaxation! 💕
But I can totally relate to the A-achiever-type. We don’t have the same story, but share quite a few character traits. And I needed really to learn and to do nothing. I even forgot what it means to do nothing. 🤷♀️ Now with enough pacing and rest I can do more, which sounds highly illogical, but it is how it is.
You’re right: when I first learned about pacing, the idea that you could expand your energy by routinely doing very little made absolutely no sense to me! But, 3.5 years later, I’m finally a believer ☺️.
My cats love you too! (Well, they wouldn’t at first, because 2/3 are a bunch of scaredy cats, but eventually they would 😹)
Right? It’s all about protecting or soothing that child within us. I did a “healing my inner child” session with my last therapist and that was like a 20-tissue session 😭
I think probably I’d say yes. Here’s what I did: I bought access to the program in January 2022. I watched all the videos, which are really well done and make a lot of sense. I started to do the exercises and I was definitely feeling a little better. But I was still working while I was trying to do it and my job was intense. So ultimately I couldn’t stick with it; it just became too much work on top of my job and I was so fatigued.
I just pulled the workbook out and recommitted to doing the program again (although I foolishly let my online membership lapse so I no longer have access to the videos). And I am definitely feeling good doing it this time (though I’m also not working now and I’m way better at activity pacing, so who’s to really say which one is having an effect, but something is).
That kitty: “Momma, you stay down now. This is comfy.” Also ✋ people pleasing AND over achieving. I’m re-learning my natural speed. Which would have been impossible to do when working.
Hi Amy, keep up the great work! - what is it with cold, i call them “ice showers“ :D that helps?- i have the feeling that it stops my body to go nuts with processes that heat the body up and keep the system in constant unravel.. sometimes i got up again at 2 am showered just to get at least a few hours of “sleep“..
Thanks so much for your support, Pat! The cold showers can really change the course of my day! I believe I read that it stimulates the vagus nerve or somehow regulates our nervous systems. It is really the most 'direct' of all of the recovery hacks I've tried as far as reaping the benefits. Sounds like you'd agree!
Another brilliant piece. This line really resonated and I felt very seen, "I was approaching recovery with the same set of overachieving tendencies that I had relied on all my life." You've hit on something really interesting that I've also caught myself doing, but had not yet put into words. P.s I love the new name!
Naïma! Thank you for championing the name change - that means a lot coming from you! And I'm "glad" that line resonated with you (well, I suppose I wish you were your old healthy self and it DIDN'T resonate with you, but you get what I'm saying ;). It's like we have to learn to be entirely new and different people to make pacing work. The struggle is real! I AM glad we don't have to go through this alone though.
Geez we could be doppelgängers. Exchange volleyball for lacrosse in college (endurance runner post college) and my career in oncology nursing. I excelled in healthcare and then was suddenly dismissed and not believed by my own community. I was the ultimate patient advocate and now need my husband to advocate for me. I was exhausting myself trying to achieve perfection in my recovery while not letting go of my need to be productive. I learned that I feel safe when I have control such as a clean house. With a lot of therapy I’ve let it all go. I’m no longer searching for a cure, but living life with my new limitations. It feels like a huge burden has been lifted. I’m giving myself the grace & patience I gave my patients. I am working on my rebirth, one with a healthier sense of love and value. It’s a little exciting.
Thank you Amy for another great article! It is so validating to read similar experiences, though I never wish this on anyone.
Thanks for the words of support, Molly! I feel exactly the way you do - I wish we could have met under different circumstances, though I'm grateful to be in community with those who deeply 'get' this experience. And OMG, I HEAR YOU on the clean house bit. I just cannot stand to see the dust take over. SO. MUCH. THERAPY on that one, lol.
I loved this line of yours: "I am working on my rebirth." That is absolutely what it feels like. Thank you for sharing that :)
You gave me so much to think about Amy! I definitely recognize the patterns you describe, although I think my “helper” side outweighs my “overachiever” side. I love The Tonic and hope you are enjoying creating it!
I can totally see that about you, Paula! I remember you hardly ever (if ever?) saying no to me or any other colleague who needed your help. Ugh, why is it so hard for us to put ourselves first sometimes?
Thank you for always reading and for your constant support! It means the world to me :)
As the Only Child, and a latchkey kid from the third or fourth grade on, I had to entertain myself and keep myself busy a lot. My area of accomplishment was among the Academic Decathlon kids (think "Jeopardy" for budding braniacs). I even did a College Bowl stint in Fresno one year. I absolutely despised PE and sports because my body was not particularly graceful or athletic. That led me to focus on academic achievements. People pleasing wasn't on the top of my agenda, but as a Libra (sun), it came naturally. I enjoyed being around adults instead of my peers until I started college, where I realized I was a (young) adult!
All this to say, when I realized Long Covid was messing with my brain, I was not happy. Cognitive therapy has helped a lot, and though I don't need to keep detailed notes, I do have reminders set up in my calendars to keep me on track. I'm more likely to remember to do something if I write it down somewhere!
Wow, Victoria! Your intellectual overachievement seems to have been borne from almost the opposite circumstances from my own, but those roads point to the same thing in the end. The first year of my LC, when I was having memory and word retrieval issues, were the scariest and most frustrating. That all seems to have improved for me. The brain lesion I developed soon after COVID has even started dissipating, according to my MRI from the summer. But I am not back to 100% normal, cognitively. Like you, I might be at risk of wearing out the Reminders app on my iPhone! lol.
Aries, A-type personality who got bronchitis and tonsillitis at 16 (because my father didn't let me stay home from school when I said I felt like I was coming down with something, jerk) that ended up turning into infectious mono. By 19, the fatigue was almost insurmountable. At 22, I cried trying to get out of bed, already missing school, but needed to get to work. But you're told you're staying out too late, not eating right, blah, blah, blame. At 23, there was finally a test for Epstein-Barr and guess who was positive?! It took me a while to learn to listen to my body because, if I didn't, it would knock me flat. I have done (and keep doing) everything in my power to stay a NOVID because not only asthma, but I'm afraid of getting long COVID. Rooting for you and your healing. Love The Tonic, Amy. Keep doing what you're doing (when you can do it). xo
Thank you for your words of support 🧡. I am glad we found each other!
I had mono at 16 too, and while I didn’t have lingering symptoms, I did catch everything under the sun for a few years after (including scarlet fever - who gets that anymore?!). I really can’t imagine having this crushing fatigue for years as a young person. How are you doing nowadays?
I rarely hear people say they are working hard to avoid long COVID. After years of posting on Facebook about my LC and now here on Substack, all with the intention of being a warning to others, I’ve gotten a lot of sympathy but very few who have admitted what you have about taking COVID precautions to avoid getting LC. It’s truly as if folks think they’re invincible. Thank you for what you’ve said; I’m so glad you’re a NOVID (so is my husband, which blows my mind!).
Thanks, Amy. I'm glad we found each other, too! Fun fact: I had Scarlet Fever in elementary school, and I thought the same damned thing then. LOL. (Man, that shot hurt.)
I've never stopped wearing my mask and I declared that I would be the Matt Damon in this version of CONTAGION at the start (maybe you're married to one, too). With asthma, EBV and chronic gastritis, I'm not effing around with this. Once Long Covid was discussed, I doubled down on my efforts. People think this is just the flu. For some, maybe. For others, it's life-altering. Not messing around with it.
My EBV was in remission for a long time, but started to flare up a few years ago (perimenopause?). Now, I'm really feeling the effect of the last booster. Not sure how much is that, the EBV or allergy season...or just a triple whammy. Probably the whammy. For the most part, I'm fine. But I would never turn down a nap if offered. 😉 xo
It sounds like you are super in-tune with that EBV flaring up over the course of your time since mono. Isn't it amazing how much better we have come to know our bodies since we've had these dreaded illnesses? I'm staying away from any more C-19 shots for now. Both of my in-laws had their EBV reactivated after getting boosters. They were vibrant 80-somethings; now, they are tired all the time and really feeling their age. I don't know why, but their situation makes me sadder than my own. It's terrible when your last years on earth are plagued with this EBV fatigue.
This last booster was supercharged, but I'm figuring so are the variants. I don't get the flu shot, won't get the shingles shot, or the RSV shot. But I'll get all the COVID shots. I got one flu shot when I was 25 and felt like I was coming down with the flu for 3 months, so never again with that (and I don't get the flu; it's amazing what handwashing does). I've had to learn to listen to my body, what it wants/needs, even if it doesn't make sense, or else! LOL. But I had terrible allergies to animals growing up (cats and dogs were bad, but horses would kill me...and we had 2). I'm so sorry about your in-laws. My love language is unsolicited advice, so I'll offer that THE AUTOIMMUNE SOLUTION helped me. It is a big diet change, but doable, and that might help...I hope. I notice immediately now if I veer from what I know I shouldn't have (even lentil flour...and I love lentils, but they don't love me back, it seems). Sending them healthy, energetic vibes. xo
Just found your posts through the ‘visible’ app, my battery is getting low because it’s evening over here (The Netherlands) so not many words from me today, but just want to 🙏thank you, it’s all very recognisable. Love your writingstyle ❤️. Please take care and stay in low gear 😁
Do you have a source for the assertion that there are personality types that are more prone to developing ME/CFS? Other than Gupta, I mean.
I’m not a journalist, so I’m admittedly not heavily sourced. But most any neuro-linguistic programming experts cite these traits as something to be mindful of. I’ve also read about these in Alex Howard’s book Decode Your Fatigue. He has treated thousands at his clinic in the UK.
Curious your thoughts on all this? Maybe it’s not resonating, which is cool too.
Yeah I’ve read it in Alex Howard too. I’ve never seen a good study on it though. I get that working on energy depleting tendencies can be helpful with this illness. And I do try to guard against my own perfectionist tendencies. But I’m wary of the implication that people with chronic illnesses made themselves sick or keep themselves sick. Howard is explicit that he thinks people with ME/CFS keep themselves sick, which is very problematic.
I hear you. It’s an interesting dialogue, the intersections of innate health/illness and the ways in which behaviors affect health outcomes. I personally don’t fall squarely on either side. But epigenetics can’t be ignored, in my opinion. What makes us susceptible to certain illnesses? What behavior or environmental factors turn on certain genes?
The reason I put some amount of stock in the personality types contributing to illness or to difficulty recovering is that it has rung very true for me. When I first got COVID, I had the hardest two weeks of work of my entire career. I only took one sick day. I definitely think the stage was set in my case for me to become sicker with long COVID than I was with acute COVID. I don’t say that to blame myself; there’s no way I could have known that my usual previously harmless patterns would all of a sudden get me in life-altering hot water. But in hindsight, I know in my gut that these patterns contributed to this. Rather than blame myself, I use it to be aware moving forward. I’ll never have that kind of high stress job again, for starters.
Again Amy, a wonderful Tonic about so many things im familiar with.
After reading this, i felt a bit sad about myself and my thoughts about taking care of me.
I was quite sure that i learned in the last years about my level of energy and about the point when doing to much.
BUT after study your weekly plan of self care i totally failed about so many good things helping me to recover or paying attention to me and my body.
Thanks again for giving so much interesting hints about your daily problems. It´s a pleasure to read the Tonic´s, even when im a year behind but i catch up. :)))
Excuse my bad English :D
P.S. if you ever read that comment, is it worth to try the Gupta programm?
Hi Carsten! So happy to have you here as a reader. It is never my intention to make anyone feel bad or like they’re not doing “enough” to try to recover. I am truly sorry that I contributed to your feeling that way! I always like to think that someone else may have ideas I haven’t tried yet. Like a new opportunity! I hope you give yourself plenty of self-compassion along the way. These illnesses are not easy to live with or recover from.
I liked the Gupta Program because it was in depth and the videos were beautiful to watch. I learned a lot. That said, it takes a lot of effort to be consistent with the practice. The longest I was ever able to do this for was two months. Still, I use many of the tools I learned there and so even though I didn’t fully recover from it, I still considered it a success.
I also liked Alex Howard’s RESET Program. A bit simpler than Gupta and so it may be more accessible to people.
Best wishes! I look forward to seeing you in the comments on any of my posts ☺️
Wasn´t meant in a negative way :)
Sorry, just read your reply about the Gupta below. So this question is already answered. :)
Ooo yes! I think my sister will like this one. But in the meantime I really enjoyed it and connected to a lot of what you said (people pleaser!). Thank you for sharing 💕
Thanks Sheila! I figured she’d like this one, since nurses go through so much schooling and are often high achievers. So grateful that you asked me to send you something she might like 😊
I sent it to her and she said from the title she’s interested. She’s been listening to podcasts about how certain personality types are more likely to get long covid! So it seems fitting as to where she’s found herself!
I’m glad you did too, it’s made me realise more about who my sister is and connect with her better thank you 💕
I am not glad I went through Long covid, there have been no benefits at all!
Except the one part where I have been able to let go of the patriarchal focus on achievements and accomplishment to define self worth. Because you have to go through that to feel OK about yourself lying on the couch for a year! The bitterness of reproaching myself for not being able to do the work was huge and almost constant for the whole time. And didn’t help me heal and get better either, I think a huge chunk of what brain power I actually had was taken up in destructive thoughts about how crap I was to be not working.
So it helped me to think about people I loved, and how valuable I thought they were. I never think about my sister or husband or anyone in terms of ‘I love them because they reached such a high managerial position’ or ‘I think they are loveable because they won this or that award’. But we seem to think we can only love ourselves for that sort of thing?
I love them because they are kind, or funny, or optimistic. And I think outer success happens when these character traits find a correct channel in the world to be expressed in. Which can be just dumb luck to find yourself in the right place, with the right traits and have the right amount of health, too! A job where your kindness can help your clients a lot. Where your quick wit finds and solves problems easily, as well as finding puns - or your optimism keeps a start up going through rocky times.
But even without these traits finding the right worldly channel to create success (or these channels are being blocked by health), we are still chock-a-block full of kindness or wit or optimism, and deeply valuable and loveable for that.
And what you are doing here, Amy, is so valuable. I have picked up several very helpful tips from you as I recover. Multiply that by all the other readers now, and all the readers you will have in the future, and your own kindness and wit and optimism is doing it’s work in the world.
And it’s interesting about the de-coupling of effort and effect too. The same amount of work as you may have put into a 1-1 client before can now go out and help tens, hundreds or thousands of people with your writing.
Helen, I loved what you said about how you don't think about your loved ones in terms of their professional titles or accomplishments, so why do we think that of ourselves. That is such a good point. You are right: we are so loveable for our kindness, wit, optimism. These should all be a big part of our new identities.
Thank you, Helen, for consistently reading and for letting me know you're finding value in what I'm doing here. Sometimes I am exhausted by it, but I am never not inspired. And because I'm not getting paid, I won't have to feel at all guilty when I need to pull back and put myself first! Lol.
It's often a challenge to recognise when our need for accomplishment and external validation overshadows our own well-being. Your story about your life's journey, your overachieving tendencies, and your struggles with chronic illness is incredibly relatable to many. Thank you for being so open and sharing your experiences.
Thank you for reading and for your kind words, Winston 🧡
Oooh, I love your kitties! I think they know when Saul is coming up and show him their way of relaxation! 💕
But I can totally relate to the A-achiever-type. We don’t have the same story, but share quite a few character traits. And I needed really to learn and to do nothing. I even forgot what it means to do nothing. 🤷♀️ Now with enough pacing and rest I can do more, which sounds highly illogical, but it is how it is.
You’re right: when I first learned about pacing, the idea that you could expand your energy by routinely doing very little made absolutely no sense to me! But, 3.5 years later, I’m finally a believer ☺️.
My cats love you too! (Well, they wouldn’t at first, because 2/3 are a bunch of scaredy cats, but eventually they would 😹)
I like that: a pacing believer! :-)
And yes, your cats would like me - I have my tricks with cats! And we have quails, so I am used to scared animals.
Very interesting about how our issues/hang ups are stuck at the age of origin. That makes so much sense to me.
Right? It’s all about protecting or soothing that child within us. I did a “healing my inner child” session with my last therapist and that was like a 20-tissue session 😭
Omg mine would be too!
Hi Amy, thanks for your newsletter! I'm considering the Gupta Program. Would you recommend?
I think probably I’d say yes. Here’s what I did: I bought access to the program in January 2022. I watched all the videos, which are really well done and make a lot of sense. I started to do the exercises and I was definitely feeling a little better. But I was still working while I was trying to do it and my job was intense. So ultimately I couldn’t stick with it; it just became too much work on top of my job and I was so fatigued.
I just pulled the workbook out and recommitted to doing the program again (although I foolishly let my online membership lapse so I no longer have access to the videos). And I am definitely feeling good doing it this time (though I’m also not working now and I’m way better at activity pacing, so who’s to really say which one is having an effect, but something is).
I’d say it’s worth a shot for sure. The other two similar programs I know about are DNRS (https://retrainingthebrain.com/?gad_source=1) and I Can Thrive (https://icanthrive.com/).
Let me know what you decide! 🤞🏻
That kitty: “Momma, you stay down now. This is comfy.” Also ✋ people pleasing AND over achieving. I’m re-learning my natural speed. Which would have been impossible to do when working.
I completely agree, Leanne. I can’t even imagine trying to do any of this effectively while still working.
That kitty is my whole heart. I do whatever he says 😊
Hi Amy, keep up the great work! - what is it with cold, i call them “ice showers“ :D that helps?- i have the feeling that it stops my body to go nuts with processes that heat the body up and keep the system in constant unravel.. sometimes i got up again at 2 am showered just to get at least a few hours of “sleep“..
Thx again
Pat
Thanks so much for your support, Pat! The cold showers can really change the course of my day! I believe I read that it stimulates the vagus nerve or somehow regulates our nervous systems. It is really the most 'direct' of all of the recovery hacks I've tried as far as reaping the benefits. Sounds like you'd agree!
Another brilliant piece. This line really resonated and I felt very seen, "I was approaching recovery with the same set of overachieving tendencies that I had relied on all my life." You've hit on something really interesting that I've also caught myself doing, but had not yet put into words. P.s I love the new name!
Naïma! Thank you for championing the name change - that means a lot coming from you! And I'm "glad" that line resonated with you (well, I suppose I wish you were your old healthy self and it DIDN'T resonate with you, but you get what I'm saying ;). It's like we have to learn to be entirely new and different people to make pacing work. The struggle is real! I AM glad we don't have to go through this alone though.
Geez we could be doppelgängers. Exchange volleyball for lacrosse in college (endurance runner post college) and my career in oncology nursing. I excelled in healthcare and then was suddenly dismissed and not believed by my own community. I was the ultimate patient advocate and now need my husband to advocate for me. I was exhausting myself trying to achieve perfection in my recovery while not letting go of my need to be productive. I learned that I feel safe when I have control such as a clean house. With a lot of therapy I’ve let it all go. I’m no longer searching for a cure, but living life with my new limitations. It feels like a huge burden has been lifted. I’m giving myself the grace & patience I gave my patients. I am working on my rebirth, one with a healthier sense of love and value. It’s a little exciting.
Thank you Amy for another great article! It is so validating to read similar experiences, though I never wish this on anyone.
Thanks for the words of support, Molly! I feel exactly the way you do - I wish we could have met under different circumstances, though I'm grateful to be in community with those who deeply 'get' this experience. And OMG, I HEAR YOU on the clean house bit. I just cannot stand to see the dust take over. SO. MUCH. THERAPY on that one, lol.
I loved this line of yours: "I am working on my rebirth." That is absolutely what it feels like. Thank you for sharing that :)
You gave me so much to think about Amy! I definitely recognize the patterns you describe, although I think my “helper” side outweighs my “overachiever” side. I love The Tonic and hope you are enjoying creating it!
I can totally see that about you, Paula! I remember you hardly ever (if ever?) saying no to me or any other colleague who needed your help. Ugh, why is it so hard for us to put ourselves first sometimes?
Thank you for always reading and for your constant support! It means the world to me :)
As the Only Child, and a latchkey kid from the third or fourth grade on, I had to entertain myself and keep myself busy a lot. My area of accomplishment was among the Academic Decathlon kids (think "Jeopardy" for budding braniacs). I even did a College Bowl stint in Fresno one year. I absolutely despised PE and sports because my body was not particularly graceful or athletic. That led me to focus on academic achievements. People pleasing wasn't on the top of my agenda, but as a Libra (sun), it came naturally. I enjoyed being around adults instead of my peers until I started college, where I realized I was a (young) adult!
All this to say, when I realized Long Covid was messing with my brain, I was not happy. Cognitive therapy has helped a lot, and though I don't need to keep detailed notes, I do have reminders set up in my calendars to keep me on track. I'm more likely to remember to do something if I write it down somewhere!
Wow, Victoria! Your intellectual overachievement seems to have been borne from almost the opposite circumstances from my own, but those roads point to the same thing in the end. The first year of my LC, when I was having memory and word retrieval issues, were the scariest and most frustrating. That all seems to have improved for me. The brain lesion I developed soon after COVID has even started dissipating, according to my MRI from the summer. But I am not back to 100% normal, cognitively. Like you, I might be at risk of wearing out the Reminders app on my iPhone! lol.
Aries, A-type personality who got bronchitis and tonsillitis at 16 (because my father didn't let me stay home from school when I said I felt like I was coming down with something, jerk) that ended up turning into infectious mono. By 19, the fatigue was almost insurmountable. At 22, I cried trying to get out of bed, already missing school, but needed to get to work. But you're told you're staying out too late, not eating right, blah, blah, blame. At 23, there was finally a test for Epstein-Barr and guess who was positive?! It took me a while to learn to listen to my body because, if I didn't, it would knock me flat. I have done (and keep doing) everything in my power to stay a NOVID because not only asthma, but I'm afraid of getting long COVID. Rooting for you and your healing. Love The Tonic, Amy. Keep doing what you're doing (when you can do it). xo
Thank you for your words of support 🧡. I am glad we found each other!
I had mono at 16 too, and while I didn’t have lingering symptoms, I did catch everything under the sun for a few years after (including scarlet fever - who gets that anymore?!). I really can’t imagine having this crushing fatigue for years as a young person. How are you doing nowadays?
I rarely hear people say they are working hard to avoid long COVID. After years of posting on Facebook about my LC and now here on Substack, all with the intention of being a warning to others, I’ve gotten a lot of sympathy but very few who have admitted what you have about taking COVID precautions to avoid getting LC. It’s truly as if folks think they’re invincible. Thank you for what you’ve said; I’m so glad you’re a NOVID (so is my husband, which blows my mind!).
Thanks, Amy. I'm glad we found each other, too! Fun fact: I had Scarlet Fever in elementary school, and I thought the same damned thing then. LOL. (Man, that shot hurt.)
I've never stopped wearing my mask and I declared that I would be the Matt Damon in this version of CONTAGION at the start (maybe you're married to one, too). With asthma, EBV and chronic gastritis, I'm not effing around with this. Once Long Covid was discussed, I doubled down on my efforts. People think this is just the flu. For some, maybe. For others, it's life-altering. Not messing around with it.
My EBV was in remission for a long time, but started to flare up a few years ago (perimenopause?). Now, I'm really feeling the effect of the last booster. Not sure how much is that, the EBV or allergy season...or just a triple whammy. Probably the whammy. For the most part, I'm fine. But I would never turn down a nap if offered. 😉 xo
It sounds like you are super in-tune with that EBV flaring up over the course of your time since mono. Isn't it amazing how much better we have come to know our bodies since we've had these dreaded illnesses? I'm staying away from any more C-19 shots for now. Both of my in-laws had their EBV reactivated after getting boosters. They were vibrant 80-somethings; now, they are tired all the time and really feeling their age. I don't know why, but their situation makes me sadder than my own. It's terrible when your last years on earth are plagued with this EBV fatigue.
This last booster was supercharged, but I'm figuring so are the variants. I don't get the flu shot, won't get the shingles shot, or the RSV shot. But I'll get all the COVID shots. I got one flu shot when I was 25 and felt like I was coming down with the flu for 3 months, so never again with that (and I don't get the flu; it's amazing what handwashing does). I've had to learn to listen to my body, what it wants/needs, even if it doesn't make sense, or else! LOL. But I had terrible allergies to animals growing up (cats and dogs were bad, but horses would kill me...and we had 2). I'm so sorry about your in-laws. My love language is unsolicited advice, so I'll offer that THE AUTOIMMUNE SOLUTION helped me. It is a big diet change, but doable, and that might help...I hope. I notice immediately now if I veer from what I know I shouldn't have (even lentil flour...and I love lentils, but they don't love me back, it seems). Sending them healthy, energetic vibes. xo
“My love language is unsolicited advice” 🤭
I added the book to my wish list. I’ll always take unsolicited advice (I may not *follow* it, but I’ll *take* it 😂)
Thank you for taking it! It's not always well-received, but it is meant well. xo
Just found your posts through the ‘visible’ app, my battery is getting low because it’s evening over here (The Netherlands) so not many words from me today, but just want to 🙏thank you, it’s all very recognisable. Love your writingstyle ❤️. Please take care and stay in low gear 😁
So glad you found me, Gon. “Stay in low gear” - love that ☺️