Getting through these wild times
Plus, The Antidote #36: long COVID as epidemic, the damage COVID does to kids' organs, and NY's ridiculous attempt to ban masks. Also, birds! And chocolate ice cream.
The Tonic is a lighthearted, heavily resourced newsletter for folks interested in learning about long COVID, ME/CFS, and other health conditions. Come for the info; stay for the whimsy. Or vice versa.
If you are new here and curious about the tools that have been helping me in my long COVID recovery, please check out the Recovery Tools series tab on my Substack site. (Please start with part one, as it includes an important disclaimer about how highly individualized recovery tools can be with a heterogenous illness like long COVID).
Bye, wish list!
It’s an exciting time here - The Tonic’s gone paid! So, no more Amazon wish list. But we can’t say goodbye without giving a proper Tonic thanks to the absolute queen of the gifting, seven-time wish lister Florrie B.! She was also the mystery giver of the bird seed from my last post.
And thank you to all who have sent gifts since I launched the wish list in the fall of 2023. All told, I received a whopping 87 GIFTS through the wish list. That’s a whole Travis Kelce! (sorry?)
WOW! You guys are the best.
Paid supporter shout outs!
Three cheers for The Tonic’s inaugural class of paid supporters! (including two uber-generous founding members, monthly and annual paid subscribers, and folks who contributed through Buy Me a Coffee).
👉🏼 Magdalena Z., Victoria C., Rachael B., David R., Teri A., Roger N., Molly D., Michael S., Katrina W., Robin M., Natalie M., Mardi C., Florrie B., Brintha J., Rachel H., Jacqui, Paula S., Diana C., Catherine L., ALW, Meghan L., and Tricia M. 👈🏼
Here’s the new blurb:
The Tonic will always be free to read - Amy is so happy you’re here! However, if you are valuing the experience and are able, please consider a show of support by upgrading to a paid subscription. If that’s too much to bite off at the moment, you can also make a one-time contribution through Buy Me a Coffee. Any help is appreciated! Anyone who does gets a 📢 in an upcoming post. Thank you!
Fascist fuckery
If you’re in the U.S. and feeling like me, you’ve been doomscrolling like mad and filled with a constant, medium-high level of existential dread. If you’re not in the U.S., perhaps the situation where you are is even worse (yes, there are plenty of places in the world where that’s true). Perhaps your life or livelihood is affected by the irrational policies set by the U.S., and/or you are just watching in horror from a distance.
Last week, my oldest niece sent me a series of texts, the gist of them being, “Aunt Amy, I’m losing my mind…” (lots of context in between) “…how are you staying sane right now?”
Aside from being so proud of how much attention she’s paying to national and world events, how aware of suffering and injustice she is, my protective aunty heart ached as I read her words of despair. For at least 25 of her 37 years on this planet, I have often been the one she’s reached out to whenever she’s despairing. I am always honored to be her chosen one. Although she is quite far into adulthood, the ache in me still feels like it did when she was a disconsolate 12-, 17-, or 23-year old.
But I recognized many years ago that I can no longer shield her from the pain of life’s travails with my responses. So I answered her honestly, saying it’s affecting me too, deeply, and I am spending a lot of my own time in therapy processing all the bad shit. I shared some of the grounding and mindfulness tools I have learned to bring myself back into my body. This led to her saying she has no way to drown out the noise of the family with which she lives, and the beautiful thing is I was able to finally make good on a birthday gift for her by sending the same brand of noise-cancelling headphones that I use when I meditate or listen to binaural beats, etc. (if you’re curious, these are them).
I also shared with her some of the tools and resources I have recently come across that have helped soothe my soul; more on those shortly, but let’s get back for a moment to the fuckery.
In the weeks between publishing here, I scan emails and news sites for all of the kinds of links you see here on the regular, and I dump them in various email folders so I can stay organized and sane. I noticed that this time, I was amassing an unusually high amount of fascist fuckery links, and it felt a little too dismissive of me to just file them under the various categories in The Antidote (link roundup) and move on.
Since I ultimately want to end this segment on a positive note, I was hesitant to include all of these quite negative links here. But I read an advice column response this week to the question of (I’m paraphrasing):
“I am so overwhelmed by all of the horrible things happening right now and it’s making me want to turn away from the news completely, but I know that’s what they want us to do, to go numb. Any advice for how I can stay informed but not spiral into overwhelm and depression?”
The columnist’s response? (also paraphrasing):
“Do not stop consuming altogether, because you’re right: that’s what they want. An uninformed, numb, dissociated electorate. Perhaps carve out ten minutes in the morning to take a quick glance at what’s going on. Open one or two links of interest and read the article, partially or in full. And don’t spend this ten minutes reading the news right before bed.”
I thought this was good advice. So, as I’d say with any links I include in my posts, check out the headlines. Open one or two that speak to you most. Then scroll down for other nervous system resetting tips during these wild times.
Here’s what I flagged in the fuckery category these past two weeks:
Trump administration replaces COVID websites, takes down COVID signage
National Science Foundation cancels research grants related to misinformation and disinformation
A deadly E. coli outbreak hit 15 states, but the FDA chose not to publicize it
Supreme Court Case Targets Free Preventive Care Provided by the Affordable Care Act
Oz, the Cruel and Powerful, Takes the Reins of Medicare and Medicaid
MN Republicans introduce vaccine criminalization bill drafted by Florida hypnotist
RFK Jr. May Pull COVID Shot From CDC's Vaccine Schedule for Kids
RFK Jr.'s autism study to amass medical records of many Americans (and then, more of this administration’s strange pattern of back-pedaling: No new autism registry, HHS says walking back NIH director's claim)
HHS Cuts Funding for NIH's Largest and Longest Study of Women's Health and then, another back-pedal: White House plans to restore funding to landmark Women's Health Initiative. Do they think they gain brownie points when they make drastic, rash moves to CUT CUT CUT, and then turn around and reverse them within days? To me, they just look like a bunch of amateurs at clown camp).
HHS Plans to Cut the National Suicide Hotline’s Program for LGBTQ Youth
FDA making plans to end its routine food safety inspections, sources say
Phew! That’s a fuck-ton of fuckery
To transition to better things, here’s a funny I found related to that last one:
Seriously, satire sites must be in a state of confusion, as so much of the reality today reads like satire.
Some good news
I’d like to turn now to some recent good news, so we don’t spend all of our time in hyperarousal and despair:
☑️ 10 charts prove that clean energy is winning — even in the Trump era (I found this one super encouraging)
☑️ College presidents sign letter of ‘moral courage’ and condemn Trump’s actions. Relieved to see my alma mater and the universities where good friends teach and attend included. Here’s the actual letter. And here’s a few excellent quotes from Wesleyan president Michael Roth, taken from the article, that really drive home the danger behind the Trump administration’s attempts to strong arm universities under the guise of antisemitism:
“I think this is a charade, this anti-antisemitism,” Roth said. “It’s the rule of law that protects minority groups. It’s not obedience to the king.
“Jews should depend on the law on civil rights, on coalition building. They should not depend on loyalty to an authoritarian figure,” Roth added. “That’s happened in our history. The rabbis have warned us against this: Beware of protectors who one day turn on you when protecting Jews is no longer in their interests. And this group has had such a good time associating with antisemites and Nazis. It seems to be so easy to recognize that this anti-antisemitism is in bad faith.”
☑️ Pentagon to resume medical care for transgender troops. More clown camp backpedaling, but at least it’s good news for now.
☑️ And here’s one of local interest to New Yorkers: Gov. Hochul drops bid for new crime of 'masked harassment' in NY budget talks. Can’t help feeling like our advocacy worked here!
Taking care of ourselves
The kind of numbness many of us have started to feel can really take us out of our bodies, out of awareness for how feelings, emotions, and trauma live and get stuck within our corpuses. Fear, anxiety, dread: these are not experiences we were meant to carry constantly in order to maintain our health and our balance.
💟 This piece by
really reminded me that we need to metabolize such feelings and emotions, moving them through our bodies.
💟 I shared the following piece by
with the niece who texted me. There is so much wisdom in it; check it out:
💟 Next was a video that, on its face, seems to be only related to International Transgender Day of Visibility, which falls on March 31st every year. Upon listening to the always wise ALOK, I sat in quiet contemplation and shed a few tears over their unshakeable belief that love is the answer. It’s a balm for the soul, and worth coming back to:
💟 Last but not least, I leave you with this gorgeous poem by Wendell Berry. If you’d like to hear it recited by Berry himself, go here.
The Peace of Wild Things
When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
Deep cleansing breaths. Maybe walk away for a bit. Come back when you’re recharged for our usual roundup of links below.
The Antidote #34
COVID, Long COVID, and ME/CFS
👯♀️ Long COVID and ME/CFS: a new study looks at commonalities and differences.
🫀 COVID and kids:
with a terrifying post on the heart damage that is being caused to our most vulnerable. FFS, kids can’t provide themselves with clean air! Also, here’s a study that shows the effects of COVID-19 on kids’ brains: “alterations in cortical morphology and glymphatic function.” NOT GOOD.😒 Long COVID as epidemic: a worry/warning from Mount Sinai’s David Putrino. The future is now, actually.
😷 NY’s proposed mask ban: Don’t ban masks for Jewish safety. Totally agree. How is it that protecting oneself from disease, disability, and death is not prioritized over the dubious harms anyone can claim masked protesters exercising their rights to free speech are causing to any ethnic group?? (see also: how is being pro-Palestinian life necessarily being anti-semitic?? We’ve lost whatever vestige of ability for nuance we ever had. But you know who hasn’t? Jews who are immune-compromised).
🤒 Chronic symptoms: It’s not all in your head, but the solution may not be in your body, expert says. This overlaps tremendously with the brain retraining/nervous system reset programs that have been helping me recover.
😶🌫️ Hyperbaric oxygen: a new study of short-term treatment (10 sessions) vs. placebo for long COVID patients showed no benefit.
✨ Being ‘enough’: long hauler and Substacker
with how to handle When It Doesn’t Feel Like Enough.🏥 Mayo Clinic’s Post COVID Care Clinic:
with a terrific post on her in-depth visit to Mayo and how the tools they taught her are helping her recover. She includes specifics, theydies and gentlethems…do check it out!👩🏼🎨 Long COVID poetry: a timely book of poetry chronicles a mother — and her daughters’ — experience with Long COVID.
Webinars/conferences/podcasts/videos/resources
💊 Call all NYC-area long haulers: PolyBio Research Foundation, in conjunction with Mt. Sinai and Yale, are conducting a study testing the drug rapamycin in people with long COVID. BlueSky post below has contact info. Here’s more info on the study.
😰 Anxiety: Alex Howard with what we get wrong about it.
🧑🏼❤️🧑🏽 Invisible illness and relationships:
posted a new very excellent video where patients of various invisible illnesses discuss the effect it has had on their relationships with friends and family. I resonated with so much of it.📽️ Two helpful videos: Dr. Eleanor Stein posted two great videos of the month on her site for April: The 8 Steps to Radical Acceptance and What Really Causes Chronic Depression? You can find both videos by going here and scrolling down.
🥄 Spooniverse Directory: created by patients for patients, this comprehensive resource hub helps spoonies and their caregivers find clinical trials, patient communities, research opportunities, financial aid, and more!
recently reached out about including The Tonic in this amazing directory (thanks, Nita!).Health miscellany
🆎 Blood type: how it affects your health.
💊 Generic drug recalls: dozens of common drugs are included; check the list to see if yours is here. I had two drugs on this list, but when I checked the bottles, they were not by these manufacturers - phew!
👶🏽 Baby food recall: Target baby food is recalled over lead contamination.
🤧 Seasonal allergies: is there a cure? Yes, says this article.
🪲 Tick bites and red meat allergies: more Americans may be at risk than previously thought. Alpha gal syndrome affected two of my beloved family members within the past few years, and it was scary AF.
🪥 Contaminated toothpaste: U.S. research finds many brands contaminated with lead and other metals.
🍈 ‘White Lotus' Fact-Check: The Suicide Tree's Lethal Potential (warning: contains spoilers)
🧑🏼🏭 Medicaid work rules: few programs help people find jobs.
⚕️ Medication use on Medicare: this study shows that White Medicare beneficiaries had consistently higher rates of PIM (potentially inappropriate medication) use compared with other racial and ethnic groups. Stick that in your racialized tropes pipe and smoke it!
🥜 Enlarged prostate: can saw palmetto treat it? (thought I’d throw a link in for the guys for a change).
🩺 Medical gaslighting:
with an excellent post on what it is, who gets to decide, and what functions it serves.Now stick around for…
🥳 The After-party 🥳
Added resources, joy, tomfoolery, and buffoonery
🎶 Check out this gorgeousness:
🍫 Chocolate Ice Cream Brands, Ranked From Worst To Best.
👩🏾🦱 Black Inventors: the top 101 and how they’ve changed the world. The breadth and depth of inventions here is astounding and really fun to read about.
✊🏼 'The Breakfast Club' Cast Reunites for First Time in 40 Years. You love to see it!
💜 Purple Isn’t Real, Science Says. Your Brain Is Just Making It Up. Tell that to the shirt I’m wearing, the walls of the room I’m in, and my computer mouse.
👯♀️ Friends with (scheduling) benefits: Planning weeks ahead with friends? Why we do it and how to see friends more often.
🐦 Birds!! If you aren’t subscribed to
’ newsletter , I highly recommend it. He’s a terrific birder, photographer, and educator. This recent post on robins was a fave of mine. Also, this article blew me away: crows understand shapes and use geometry in everyday life.🤦🏻 Buffoon of the week: the recent Blue Origin space flight was such a vanity act, amirite? But if I could only pick one buffoon from the lot, it would have to be Katy Perry. I stopped watching American Idol because she was such an attention whore the whole time. About her recent trip, Perry said, "this is all for the benefit of Earth,” and I just about gagged. Get OVER yourself! You have benefitted no one. Do you want to know who did? Check this out from the 19th: Women celebrated firsts in space long before this mission.
🏆 Winner of the week: the unnamed homeless man who recently won $1 million on a scratch-off. The shop owner had nothing but wonderful things to say about the man, a frequent customer of his. Happy spending!!
🐈⬛ 💩 And finally, it’s this week’s Cat Dump. Our garage feral Ripley’s been getting chatty with daddy!
Thanks for the shoutout! Wow, this post has so many good nuggets, tips, news blips and anecdotes! I can’t wait to reread tomorrow to really dive into all these links. Also love Alex Howard. His whole series on resetting the nervous system is *chefs kiss*.
Thank you for sharing that video. Oof, balm for the soul for sure. The article on Anxiety was so helpful too (and validating that I'm doing a lot of the right things to manage my anxiety). It's hard to wrap my head around the fact it's only May and we have to endure 4+ years of this BS. Thankful for you and all the other Substackers here who are helping me get through this dumpster fire, one day at a time.