This post is all about heart

Plus, The Antidote #31: reinfection, vax injury, viral persistence, and...wired for negativity? (yes, but change is possible!)

The Tonic is a lighthearted, heavily resourced newsletter for folks interested in learning about long COVID, ME/CFS, and other health conditions. Come for the info; stay for the whimsy. Or vice versa.

Wish list shout outs!

Many of my readers have chosen to support my efforts here via the Amazon wish list in lieu of paid subscriptions (which would reduce my disability benefits). A big Tonic THANK YOU this week goes to a reader who asked to be kept anonymous. Your wish is my command!

Also, someone sent me warm winter socks, but there was no note inside. If that was you, I’d love to know! And if you want to stay anon also, that’s okay too. Thank you for doing your part to keep my tootsies toasty.

The Tonic is free to read - Amy is so happy you’re here! There is no paid subscription option here like with other Substack newsletters. However, if you are valuing the experience and are able, please consider a show of support by sending a gift of health, wellness, or joy from this Amazon wish list. There’s something for every budget and any help is appreciated. Anyone who does gets a 📢 in an upcoming post (be sure to include a note with your gift). Thank you!

It’s the end of the year (as we know it)

And I feel fine.

Better than fine, actually. Pretty darn good.

My holidays were phenomenal, starting with a quiet Solstice dinner at our favorite spot and opening gifts with Baldy.

Onto Christmas eve and Christmas. My family all tested to keep me safe. No one got sick, for the fifth year (and tenth holiday, counting Thanksgivings and Christmases) in a row. I am incredibly fortunate, I know. Not everyone has family that gets it.

A couple of my sibkids brought new partners to the festivities, and this very high standards aunty enjoyed how well-suited they seemed for one another.

One of my brothers got divorced this year and miraculously, it seems to have made their entire family unit calmer and happier. Great to see my sibkids from that family come out of their shells, as well as seeing my brother happy with a sweet and funny new partner.

Quiet New Year’s Eve at home, eating finger foods, listening to music, playing trivia. I called it Nerd Year’s Eve. We’ve never been big on going out for it.

I opened up the multi-colored post-its from my jar of good things that happened to me during 2024. Here’s my Note on it for anyone interested. I love that so many people are going to do it this year too (and some already do it).

My usual Wednesday “gimp” yoga class got moved to Thursday, January 2nd this week. Shannon, our spoonie-instructor extraordinaire, acknowledged that not all spoonies love the idea of resolutions, which are so typically tied to achievements, so she suggested we each come up with a word of intention for 2025. My word:

I’m happy with the work (and rest) I’m putting into my nervous system. Into gentle movement that feels good. Into a few goals I’m working on that don’t require dogged pursuit. On my relationships, on this Substack. So, here’s to more of all of it in 2025 (or, maybe just the same amount of all of it, lol).

What would your word for 2025 be? Keep it to yourself or share it if you like:

The Tonic ends 2024 with a bang(er)

File this under, “I did not see this one coming”: my last post - The great unmasking (and why I’m moving on) - made quite a splash with both my regular readers and many, many new ones via Substack (lots of whom became new subscribers - thank you, and welcome!). In the two weeks since that post went live, over 140 of you have joined. Those are big numbers for me for a month, let alone just two weeks. The post also got a whopping 3,000 more views than my posts usually get!

I was most pleasantly surprised that the splash veered heavily positive. Certain I’d piss some folks off, I was expecting this:

That (mostly) didn’t happen. Here’s how it went:

• The Substack writers I admire in the disability sphere who follow me, and who I thought I’d upset the most, left me the loveliest comments. Even when you disagreed with parts of what I wrote, you appreciated how I handled the topic. Thank you for receiving my words so well and for sharing your perspectives.

• A few of you received my words well and yet countered my cynicism with examples of how you’ve changed some minds or have friends who love and respect you so much, that they mask even when you’re not looking. These comments warmed my heart and restored my faith in (an admittedly small minority of) humanity. Thank you for sharing.

• Many new folks (or existing subscribers who chose to comment and/or restack a post of mine for the first time) expressed appreciation for my putting into words how they were feeling. It almost felt like a collective sigh of relief, like somehow my words gave you permission to redirect your precious and limited energy to things you can control or that give you joy. I was truthfully not prepared for how many comments of this nature my post received, and I was very touched by this.

• And of course, because there’s always at least ONE in every crowd, someone who doesn’t subscribe or follow restacked my post with a long rage-note about how wrong I am, followed by a lot of words that frankly made no sense. It’s like there’s a school for these trolls, but it’s non-accredited and the teachers sleep and/or do drugs with their students on the reg. They also apparently cook their ‘smores on a bonfire of dictionaries and grammar rules books.

  

Comments on my post are still trickling in here and there, but they seem to fit one of the first three bullets above. I think the lesson for me (and maybe others) here is:

Write what is in your heart and on your mind

But seriously. Be true to you.

Thank you to all those who took the time to read and comment thoughtfully and constructively.

Speaking of heart: a TV show review

If you have the streaming services (HBO) Max, do yourself a favor and watch all three seasons of the most underrated show of our time: Somebody Somewhere. In fact, if you don’t have Max, sign up for a month, binge watch it, and then cancel your subscription. It’s worth every penny of the $16.99 you’ll spend.

I won’t say too much about it, because excellent reviews already exist online by The L.A. Times and The Advocate. But here is my succinct review anyway.

The show moves a bit slowly. There’s no discernible plot. The characters take some getting used to initially. But damn if this show doesn’t have a ton of HEART.

You will laugh. You may cry. You may want to take some of the characters by the shoulders and give them a hearty shake. You will also want to hug them and never let go. The show will hook you in before you even realize how it possibly could have. And when it ends, you will feel like you’re leaving friends-who-became-family behind.

A word on the LGBTQIA+ characters (you can read more in The Advocate review linked above): I think you’ll be hard-pressed to find a show with such honest portrayals, that doesn’t get sucked into tropes or stereotypes, and that somehow manages to make these characters both multi-dimensional and perfectly ordinary at the same time. I found that completely refreshing and a big part of what made the show tick for me.

photo: HBO Max

Have you seen the show? What are your thoughts? Do you have shows you’ve been enjoying that you’d recommend?

Now let’s kick off the New Year with some trusty links.

The Antidote #31

COVID, Long COVID, and ME/CFS

🤧 Viruses right now: what to know about those "bugs" going around, including the virus that causes COVID, the flu, norovirus and RSV.

🦠 Afraid of COVID-19 reinfection? Check out these two timely posts: How to Mitigate a Holiday Reinfection by

Dr. Zeest Khan

and The dreaded reinfection by

Nicole

(a recovered long hauler who was recently reinfected and emerged unscathed).

🎢 Thyroid function and long COVID: a systemic review. I don’t know about the rest of you, but starting in year two of LC, my thyroid levels shot up and down repeatedly and my endo has me testing every six weeks to see if I’ve stabilized. In my 25+ years of hypothyroidism, I’ve never experienced such wild swings.

🧫 Autoimmunity and ME/CFS: Hypothalamic-Pituitary Autoimmunity and Related Impairment of Hormone Secretions (note: a 2021 study shared with me by one of its authors).

😵‍💫 Long COVID and neurodegeneration: these poor hamsters. But also, I feel their pain. I finished baking a pumpkin bread a few days ago and promptly left the oven on for over two hours afterward. Ugh.

😷 Masks: several Illinois hospitals reinstate their mandates after respiratory infections climb.

💉 Vax-injury: US reports 27-fold increase in vaccine injury claims during pandemic. I have two vaccine injured family members (one from C-19 and one from RSV). It’s pretty awful, both that it’s happening and that there’s so little acknowledgement by the media and the government that it is.

📰 Long COVID essentials: The Sick Times and Long COVID Justice have paired up again to publish more of these fantastic sheets, including the first sheets posted in Spanish. Check them out and refer folks to them who need some education.

🤒 HIV/AIDS and COVID-19: Shared Lessons from Two Pandemics, an accepted manuscript by Dr. Fauci and Gregory Folkers.

🫀 Heart attack and stroke: survivors at high risk for Long COVID, according to a new study.

👴🏼 Older adults and COVID-19: changes in frailty. It quite frankly shocks me that we don’t see older adults masking more than we do…<sigh>…

🫥 OCD and long COVID: an eye-opening piece by

Harry Boby

.

💰 Disability insurance: The Sick Times spoke to a veteran attorney on long COVID and ME/CFS patients applying for benefits. (And if you’re interested how this was from a patient perspective, check out my Health Rising guest post from a few years back, My Long COVID Disability Journey).

Webinars/conferences/podcasts/videos

🦠 Viral persistence and long COVID symptoms: recording of the recent RECOVER study seminar.

Health miscellany

⚕️ Health Insurance Essentials: The Guide You Wish You Had at 26 by

Unbiased Science

.

💊 Supplements: which ones doctors actually think you should take.

🥵 Managing hot flashes: non-pharmacological options. I’m currently living in this particular hellscape. 0/10, do not recommend.

❎ Abortion bans: in U.S. states with these bans, social safety net programs often fail families. Pro-life, my ass.

🥦 Broccoli recall: get deets here. Also, MadeGood granola bars.

😔 Gaza health watch: Israeli troops forcibly remove staff and patients from northern Gaza hospital and force many to strip outside in winter weather. The world is watching this mass dehumanization and genocide happen and my tax dollars are helping to fund it.

🤕 Migraine and GI disorders: an investigation of shared mechanisms.

🍴 Intermittent fasting: weight loss, maybe. But also, a stress response that inhibits hair growth.

💪🏽 Strength, balance, and mobility: 11 ways to test how fit you are. (Of course, LC and ME/CFS will affect all three).

🫰🏽 Billing for patient portal use: modest decline in patient usage after implementation (free MedPage Today account required).

♋ Food and cancer: certain foods may disrupt your body’s fight against cancer cells, according to this article.

🚫 Magnesium supplementation: five meds not to mix with these.

💊 Cymbalta/duloxetine recall: they may contain potentially cancer-causing chemical.

🧹 Daily chores and cardiovascular disease: may provide protection in women who don't exercise. This could be good news for those of us long haulers and ME/CFS folks who can’t exercise but can do some chores (though many can’t even do that much).

🚶🏾 Walking differently: Scientists Asked People To Do One Thing Differently While Taking A Walk. The Results Were Astounding.

Now stick around for…

🥳 The After-party 🥳

Added resources, joy, tomfoolery, and buffoonery

🖥️ Y2K: seems like a joke now, but in 1999 people were really freaking out. For real, we were. My boyfriend at the time took all of his money out of the bank - $700 - and duct-taped it to his calf. We stopped at a diner on our way out of town for New Year’s, and when I asked him where the money was, he put his foot up on my bench in our booth and said, “feel my leg.” 🤣🤣

👩🏽‍🦳 Women's "History": a graphic depiction by

Aubrey Hirsch

. Yikes!

🐬 Dolphin stampede! I had never heard of such a thing. The video is breathtaking. Check it out here.

😂 The 25 best SNL cast members of all time, according to Esquire. I mean, I really do like Will Ferrell (though not everyone does, making his #1 ranking controversial, in my mind). But for my money, either Kate MacKinnon or Kristen Wiig should have been in the #1 spot, or at the very least, much closer than they were.

👍🏾 Wired for negativity (but change is possible!): two fun Instagram posts on this concept that may be helpful for those of us working on our recovery:

raelan.agle

A post shared by @raelan.agle

derekhough

A post shared by @derekhough

🎶 Billie Eilish’s Tiny Desk Concert: I found this very regulating for my nervous system. She is one of the best voices of our time, IMO. Kudos to her brother Finneas for writing such great stuff, too.

🤦🏻 Buffoon of the week (pandemic edition): Lil Wayne, Chris Brown Used COVID Relief Funds on Luxury Spending. The details in this article of how they spent these millions is ENRAGING, especially when I think of those gone jobless, homeless, or bankrupted by long COVID.

🏆 Winner of the week: Young Woman Returns Family Photos Lost in Hurricane Helene Using Social Media to Find Owners. Taylor Schenker of Canton, NC, you are a gem.

🐈‍⬛ 💩 And finally, it’s this week’s Cat Dump. First up: experts worry about cats and bird flu. Should owners care?

Next, I flipped on the kitchen light a few nights ago to this incriminating scene of the shorthairs up to…something. Birdie is meowing at me: “but MOM, I think there’s a mouse in this corner!” And Fritzy…nonchalantly breaking the no-counters rule to…supervise?? (also: “fuck yo’ rules, ma”).

Did you enjoy this post? 🤗

**Disclaimer: Although I AM licensed to drive and to practice social work, I am NOT a licensed medical professional. You should not rely on any information contained in this newsletter in making medical, health-related or other decisions. Please consult a doctor or other health professional (which is just something you say when trying to CYA; in truth, your doctor probably doesn’t know what you know about some of these very specific and poorly understood conditions. But find one who doesn’t bristle when you tell them what you’ve learned).