What could you do in 2025 that you couldn't do in 2024?
Plus, the Antidote #51: the roots of mental fatigue, what's new in the ME/CFS research world, tattoos and your immune system, and the sublime magic of micro forests.
The Tonic is a lighthearted, heavily resourced newsletter for folks interested in learning about long COVID, ME/CFS, and other health conditions. Come for the info; stay for the whimsy. Or vice versa.
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A (mostly) good year around here
2025 started out shitty in The Tonic household. Baldy had to have two emergency retinal surgeries, one of which required us to hop in the car toot sweet and high tail it to a fancy private facility in Manhattan that does overnight surgeries at a hefty, not-covered-by-insurance price tag (luckily, the second one was able to happen in a hospital and was covered, although it feels funny to use any version of the word ‘lucky’ when one needs a second retinal surgery within weeks of the very expensive first one). The second surgery required Baldy to stay face down for two weeks.
Soon after, our sweet elder stateswoman Zira (a.k.a. little girl or little squirrel or circus cat) started going downhill - her stage one kidney disease advanced to end stage pretty quickly, and she was having a lot of trouble walking. Soon enough (too soon), we brought Lap of Love into our home and bid our sweet, sassy girl farewell.
The combined stress of the surgeries, recoveries, anxieties about whether the surgeries would ‘take,’ plus the loss of our girl was all pretty devastating for us. As hard as this was on Baldy (extra hard because for Zira, the sun rose and set around her daddy), it all weighed on me emotionally and physically as the primary caretaker for both of them, and I found myself feeling way more fatigued, neuropathic, and foggy than I had been in the several months prior.
So 2025 had been supremely unkind to us until around May or so (June for Baldy; that’s when he was out of the woods as far as the chances of his second surgery not taking). At the end of April, I joined CFS Recovery (see my more in-depth post on that experience here), which turned so much around for me. In June, we celebrated my 50th birthday in Woodstock with a bunch of friends and fam. And the year got better and better from there.
Sometime around September, after having been in the Academy portion of CFS Recovery for four months and going from about 75% recovered when I joined to 95% recovered, I moved over to the Beyond Recovery portion of the program, which is tailored to people no longer primarily concerned with symptoms and illness, but more focused on living life and adding activities and goals back in. The group calls got smaller and more intimate, the topics were more about how to adjust to a fuller life again, and the flow was more interactive.
I’ve skipped a few of the weekly calls lately, mostly because life is getting busier and it’s been hard for me to be on so many video calls (to meet with my clients, my therapeutic coaching classes, and CFS Recovery). I almost skipped this past Monday’s call out of tiredness (the coaches will often say they’re happy when people skip calls, because it usually means they’re out there living life). But then my evening therapy client rescheduled, and I had more energy, so I hopped on.
I’m really glad I did. In light of it being nearly new year’s, the topic for the call was what are five things you could do in 2025 that you weren’t able to do in 2024?
We were given ten minutes to think about it and write down our answers. I only needed about three minutes, and my list was long. Here were my answers:
Recover! This is the big kahuna, obviously. It happened mainly through the permission my coaches gave me to nudge my activity at various points in time and to realize the ways that fear was holding me back. Oh, and recognizing that symptoms are just signals, and sometimes we can listen to them to pull back but other times they are false signals in an attempt to keep us ‘safe’ when in fact we already are. That’s where the overcoming fear part comes in.
Work, another biggie, and one that I was fortunate enough to be able to ease my way into (and still am).
Lift weights, quite happily making my way from 1lb in each hand to 10 by year’s end.
Jog/run, which I do not love doing, but it’s nice to know I can attempt to escape if being chased 😳
Learn a new sport (pickleball, thanks to BFF Lisa), and, by year’s end, play it for hours at a time and make a few new friends.
Play volleyball, my main love (also thanks to BFF Lisa). Only got to play once, but what it did for my spirits was immeasurable. I had played for 32 years and didn’t know my last game would be my last, due to lockdown and then the long-ass COVID. Wasn’t sure I’d ever play again.
Hike up to 4 miles, another of my loves, and a distance I didn’t think I’d see ever again.
Play basketball, in my driveway, which I only got to do at our new house once before COVID took me down.
Socialize in noisy spots without needing my Loops earplugs.
It was a poignant ‘take stock’ moment, and it gave me a chance to tell both the coach leading the call (Junior) and the program’s founder (Miguel, also on the call) what their work has meant to me and how it changed my life this year. Junior then summarized the bigger picture of what we each were able to do in 2025 and ask us if we wanted more of that in 2026. We all unequivocally said yes.
He then had us decide on three things we wanted to accomplish by the end of January, stating that most people don’t stick to longer term resolutions and then they just wind up feeling a sense of failure. It was really refreshing to not be asked what my resolutions were, but instead to be asked to come up with three tasks that were achievable in roughly 30 days’ time.
I am grateful for that group call, because in the frenzy of holiday prep/travel/exhale, I had been feeling kind of existentially tired (who doesn’t at this time of year?). In fact, when I took the time to really reflect on what I could do in 2025 that I couldn’t in 2024, it gave me a chance to marvel at my life of late - at my steady work to shift my mindset and stay the course, at the love and support I have around me, at the privileges and benefits I try not to take for granted.
So now I ask you - what could you do in 2025 that you couldn’t in 2024?
Maybe you experience long COVID, ME/CFS, fibromyalgia, chronic Lyme, or some other fatiguing or chronic illness. Maybe some aspect of that experience or your life got a little easier/better in 2025. If you saw no physical changes or improvements, maybe you worked through a bit of the grief. Perhaps you edged your way over to acceptance. Maybe the only thing you could do in 2025 that you couldn’t in 2024 was appreciate a butterfly that fluttered by your window. Maybe you were able to laugh at yourself a little more. Maybe you put an important boundary in place with a loved one and gained some strength and a bit of inner peace from that. Maybe you finally decided to not give a shit what people thought when you masked in public.
You may find that if you ask the question and really reflect on it, at least one thing will come to you, and likely more. Please take a moment to share yours in the comments - I would love to gain inspiration from you, and I know other readers here would too.
For a little more end of year inspiration, here is a picture of my “good things that happened” jar for 2025, along with select highlights that I unfolded and read on January 1st.
Lastly, I’m including a video ‘above the fold’ this time because the new year might spark a desire for change. It is for anyone who has been suffering with long COVID or ME/CFS, has tried all the things, and isn’t sure what to make of all of that. It really resonated with the me of a few years ago, and maybe it will resonate with you too.
Why Your Tests Are Normal but Your Life Isn’t (Start Guide for CFS & Long COVID)
COVID, Long COVID, and ME/CFS
🧬 The genetics of ME/CFS: this study is titled “The most detailed genetic analysis of myalgic encephalomyelitis ever conducted.” Impressive if true.
💰 Long COVID research funding: a big boost in Germany. Will they find new treatments?
⛔ Long COVID study flops: the RECOVER Neuro study aimed to improve patient cognition, but fell short, to no one’s great surprise.
😵💫 The roots of mental fatigue: scientists’ findings could help those with LC and ME/CFS especially.
💪🏽 Muscle repair in ME/CFS: study finds that muscles aren’t being damaged, they just aren’t repairing properly after exertion.
💉 COVID vaccines: how a breakthrough created a public-health crisis.
🫸🏽 Doctors with (rigid) Borders: The Sick Times with this piece on doctors who refuse to complete disability benefits paperwork. I found a new PCP in my early days of long COVID. She was empathetic to my plight, but made it very clear from jump that she does NOT fill out disability paperwork. At the time, I was still trying to hold onto my job, and I told her so, partly because I didn’t want her to add me to her pile of patients to judge for not being able to work. After a few appointments, during which she repeated this ridiculous mantra to me several times, I decided to find a new doctor. I didn’t know if I would need disability benefits in the future, and I couldn’t risk getting in deep with her if she was unwilling to help me. Baldy, btw, still uses her as his primary care doc, and every single time he sees her, she asks about me. And every single time he comes home and tells me this, I ask, “did you tell her I stopped seeing her because I wound up needing disability benefits, and she refused to help me before I even asked?” (I could injure myself eye-rolling over her persistent yet utterly futile attempts at care badgering of my husband about me).
Resources
🧘🏽♀️ Spoonie yoga: are you a spoonie (someone with an energy-limiting condition) who has thought about getting some movement in or has just been curious about spoonie-friendly yoga? My favorite yogi Shannon of Nourish Therapeutic Yoga is offering a free info session on Tuesday, January 6th from 1-1:30 EST to answer any questions you may have. More info and registration here. (P.S. I am recovered and still attend her weekly classes, because they are a welcome moment of calm and reset in the middle of my week).
⚙️ ME/CFS recovery resources: a ‘starter kit’ list compiled by Raelan Agle.
🆕 What's New in ME/CFS? Interview with Dr. Chris Ponting.
🤐 What not to say to someone who is grieving: a super helpful post by Jamila Reddy.
Health miscellany
❄️ Shoveling snow: at what age should you stop? Here's what heart experts say. I learned a few things here I didn’t know, and I was much more cautious when I had to shovel out from under 7 inches while my Baldy was away.
💯 Living to 100: surprising longevity secrets from centenarians. I wonder what their average age was when they stopped shoveling snow.
🩸 Menopause: what to know about when it comes early. Also, there was no increased breast cancer risk with menopausal estrogen in BRCA gene carriers.
🫸🏽 10 symptoms you should never ignore: according to ER doctors.
🧘🏼♂️ Hip mobility exercises: six that can boost strength and flexibility.
🌹 Tattoos and your immune system: apparently the ink accumulates in your body and triggers cell death. Oopsy. I swear this big piece I’m getting on my upper right arm that will take many months to finish will be my last. Maybe?
😡 Government fuckery: the blaze of damage and destruction continues. Grant cuts, arrests, lay-offs: Trump made 2025 a tumultuous year for science. Then Trump administration bans VA abortion services. You can fight to defend Americans’ rights while having yours stripped away. Disgusting. Then Trump administration plans to end prison rape protections for trans and intersex people. This should go without saying, but no one should be without rape protections, right? Let the disgusting human rights’ violations continue: Transgender health leader’s name changed on her official HHS portrait. And here’s more from our dystopian hellscape: ICE is using smartwatches to track pregnant women, even during labor. The depravity continues: Trump officials celebrated with cake after slashing aid. Then people died of cholera. Over in Texas, probably the worst of all the 50 states: New law aims to stop doctors from sending abortion pills to Texas and Texas is making a list of transgender Texans using DPS data (driver’s license info).
💪🏽 Fighting back: Americans more likely to accept guidance from AMA than CDC on vaccine safety. Thankfully this sham government is losing credibility, and integrity still exists: This HIV expert refused to censor data, then quit the CDC. And WHO expert group’s new analysis reaffirms there is no link between vaccines and autism. That the WHO has to waste time and resources on this is such bullshit. House Democrat Files Articles of Impeachment Against RFK Jr. I’m not up on whether this went anywhere over the holidays, but I don’t think so. In transgender rights news: Georgia's prison system must continue hormone therapy for transgender prisoners, judge rules. And 19 states sue HHS over move to curtail youth gender-affirming care, because I don’t know, we shouldn’t want to lose kids to suicide in droves. Finally, 20 states lodge lawsuit against Trump’s $100,000 H-1B visa fee (which includes healthcare workers).
💉 Shingles vaccine: the evidence that it may reduce dementia risk, a post by Dr. Jen Gunter.
🔥 Burnout and chronic illness: a terrific post by Ryan McCormick, M.D. I seriously don’t know how the good doc has a family and a full-time practice and has the time to write/curate these incredibly informative, clearly written posts multiple times a week. Don’t burnout, doc! We need you healthy.
✈️ Airline drinking water: here’s the results of a recent report, and YIKES. Their three main tips? NEVER drink any water onboard that isn’t in a sealed bottle. Do not drink coffee or tea onboard. Do not wash your hands in the bathroom; use alcohol-based hand sanitizer containing at least 60% alcohol instead.
🥩 Protein: nine signs you’re not getting enough. Though TBH, a lot of these are also signs of other health problems, so who can really tell? Consult a nutritionist if you’re concerned. My health insurance covers visits to them at 100%; yours might too.
Inspiration & Recovery
📽️ The Mindset Shift You Need for Long Covid & CFS Recovery: a video short by Miguel Batista of CFS Recovery.
⏩ Rapid recoveries from long COVID: a look at three patients who recovered with monoclonal antibodies.
🌴 Hawaii’s former leprosy colony: read this super interesting article to be inspired by individuals who took back the power to tell their own stories.
🌱 Plants and food: new Substack alert! Check out PlantRoots for “plant enthusiasts and foodies to inspire you to grow, taste, and observe.” Here’s a recent, super fascinating post on the planting of a local micro forest. I seriously learn so much from each and every post of theirs. Give them a subscribe - you won’t be sorry!
📚 Spoonie book list: I’ve been loving the end of year reading lists that some writers on Substack have been publishing, and M (is) Living with Long Covid put out a terrific post on the best books they read in 2025, with quite a wide array of intriguing titles.
😄 Best SNL skit of this season: Melissa McCarthy is a comedy genius, is all I have to say. But it’s the very end of this skit that had me and Baldy in stitches, because it’s spot on. Watch to the end and see what we mean.
🤦🏻 Buffoons of the week: I could not decide between two, so they’re both getting the honors. The first is Liam Neeson, who denied anti-vax views after narrating documentary questioning the legitimacy of COVID vaccines and praising RFK, Jr. Dude, you attached your actual voice to this horseshit and now you want to back pedal?
Our second buffoon is Max Barnhart, who wrote the article Why I volunteered to be infected with dengue fever. Ever hear of long-fucking-COVID, Max? Apparently not, since there’s not a single mention of it nor any other post-viral conditions under his ‘Taking a calculated risk’ heading. Yes, people are inviting risk all day, every day, but not taking precautions in risky viral-spreading situations. But to sign up for a study to actually be directly injected with a virus that’s known to be dangerous? Sheer buffoonery. You and Liam should go bowling.
🏆 Winners of the week: Detroit resident Joshua Threatt is our winner, for spotting a young girl walking to school alone in the cold and making sure she got there safely. He later brought a coat and proper winter gear to the school for her and had a heart-to-heart with the girl’s father.
🐈⬛ 💩 And finally, it’s this week’s Cat Dump. Heart-warming/fun cat-related videos edition:
Get out the tissues for this one:
❤️
Oh dear, sweet Baldy and Zira, and you as their caretaker 🥹 Wishing you a better 2026 and sending you so much love and coziness for the new year.
Melissa McCarthy soothes my soul. Whenever I'm feeling particularly down, I'll watch The Heat or Bridesmaids and it's an instant mood booster. Thank you for that skit.
Looooved that list of hip mobility exercises 😍 The airline water article 😩🤢
The kitties choosing their new families made my face wettttt.
And as always, CONGRATS on the breakthroughs this year!! It's filled me with joy to watch you get back to the activities you love, Amy 🫂